Friday and Saturday, I spoke at the Southwest Home Education Ministry (SHEM) Convention in Springfield, Missouri. Driving from Indiana to the convention, we passed the famous Gateway Arch, pictured above. This, of course, let us know that we were in the “Show Me State.” I spoke at the SHEM convention last year, and it produced my favorite “talk” of the year – an entire session of nothing but questions from the teens. They didn’t plan a session like that this year, but I still got the chance to answer a lot of questions, both after my talks and at my publisher’s booth.
I gave a total of six talks over the course of the two-day convention. I talked to the parents about how homeschooling is the solution to our education problem and about how college tends to keep young adults active in the faith. This surprised a lot of the attendees, because they believed the “common wisdom” that students who go to college are likely to lose their faith. In fact, the research is very clear – students who do not go to college are significantly more likely to lose their faith. I also talked about how my wife and I came to adopt our daughter and what I did with her in homeschooling. That talk was in the last time slot for talks at the convention, and afterwards, one mother wrote on my Facebook page:
…I would like to thank you for sharing the story of your own family with us. Your talk was the perfect way to end the convention and it left me excited, and with renewed enthusiasm. Thank you.
I also gave two talks with Diana Waring. The first was about how arguing promotes learning, and the second was about what to do when your children’s plans for their future are radically different from your plans for their future. Finally, I talked to the teens about how homeschool graduates are doing. In that talk, I go through some statistics about homeschool graduates and what they are doing now, and then I focus on specific homeschool graduates and how they are truly changing the world.
As usual, the most interesting part of the convention for me was answering questions. At my publisher’s booth, for example, I had a long discussion about nuclear fusion with a homeschooled student who had all sorts of great questions. However, I want to focus on a question that occurred after one of the talks I gave with Diana Waring.
Diana and I had just finished discussing what to do when your children’s plans for their future are different from your plans for their future. Both of us had experienced this in our own parenting, and Diana had handled it much better than I had. Nevertheless, I learned from my mistakes and hope that some in the audience learned from them as well. One mother raised her hand and asked the following question, which I am paraphrasing:
Is there any way someone could do a talk to the teens about how college isn’t the only option for them once they finish homeschool?
As Diana and I shared our thoughts, the mother told us that some teens come back from the conference feeling an enormous amount of pressure to go to college, because that’s what the teen speakers tend to focus on. They seem to think that no one can make a difference in this world except by going to college.
I told the mother that my talk to the teens the day before was something like what she had requested. In that talk, I first discussed the success that homeschool graduates have in college. However, I also told the students that they shouldn’t take this part of the discussion as indicating that they are supposed to go to college. I told them that there are only two reasons you should go to college:
1) If you just love to learn. For some people, their favorite thing to do is learn something new. That kind of person belongs in college.
2) If you have a specific career path in mind that requires a college degree.
I told them that if you don’t meet one of those two criteria, you are probably wasting your time and your parents’ money in college. Since most high school graduates do not fit either criterion, most high school graduates should not go directly to college. After a few years of trying to make a living in the real world, some of them will end up meeting criterion #2. At that point, of course, they should go on to college.
There is one other thing I said in my teen talk that hopefully demonstrated to the students that college isn’t the only way to make a difference in the world. One of the homeschool graduates I discussed is a young lady named Sydnee Tuckett. As she was finishing up high school (at the ripe old age of 17), she felt the Lord calling her to do missionary work in a third-world orphanage. She did some searching and found just that kind of orphanage in Monrovia, Liberia. She didn’t know anyone there, but she decided it was where the Lord wanted her to be. So she actually convinced her parents to allow her to travel (alone) to Monrovia and work at the orphanage.
While she was there, she literally changed the lives of many hopeless children by helping the orphanage arrange adoptions to people in developed nations. Here is a passage from her journal telling you exactly how people’s lives were changed by her work:
I saw parents meet their children for the first time today… for this I was tearing up. These parents have waited so long, taken out loans, done so much paper work, have loved so much even when they have never even met the child.
I told the students that this young lady was the most impressive of all the homeschool graduates I discussed with them, because she was truly changing lives on a daily basis. She never had the time to go to college, because the Lord wanted her changing lives right away.
So if anyone tells you that you must go to college in order to make a difference in this world, bring up Sydnee Tuckett. Bring up Katie Davis. Bring up someone you know who is truly making a difference in this world but never darkened the door of a college classroom. College is an important part of some people’s lives. It is an absurd distraction for others.
As parents, one of our jobs is to help our children figure out which it is for them.